Drip, Drip, Drip

That’s not the sound of early morning coffee, it’s the slow eroding of a marriage.

There’s lots of ways to wreck a marriage - infidelity, booze, sloth and indifference are a few of the standard poisons, but the Book of Proverbs has a choice little evocative analogy for another form of domestic vice guaranteed to breed discontent - 'a quarrelsome spouse is like a constant dripping on a rainy day' Proverbs 27:15.

Drip, drip, drip – few things will grate on your nerves more than a drip you can't plug. The original proverb speaks of an ill-tempered and quarrelsome wife, but it is just as true of quarrelsome husbands. When people have no voice or power, they will do anything to assert their presence in some other way, by persistent questions, challenges, sniping, complaining. Drip, drip, drip, wear down the opposition by relentless annoyance.

This proverb is about something worse than the annoyance of nagging. It is about home-grown nastiness – not violence necessarily, but being a chronic contrarian, someone who is habitually critical, fault-finding and argumentative. A wife (or husband) who belittles their partner or is cleverly sarcastic is often insecure and more deeply angry than they know or admit, even if their aggression is passive or covert. Their constant dripping makes life miserable for everyone around them; they’re not happy until you’re not happy, but there is no reasoning with them. The second part of the proverb expresses the futility of challenging their behavior – ‘restraining her/him is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with your hand’ 27:16.

In the first occurrence of this proverb, in 19:13-14, it is followed by a contrast with two much happier gifts of life – ‘houses and wealth inherited from parents’ and even better, ‘a prudent wife who is from the LORD’. It’s as if saying, “marriage doesn’t have to be this miserable!”

But three more times Proverbs warns against this angry miserable home –‘better to live on a corner of the roof...' it says in 21:9 and again in 25:24 and then the third time it ups the ante with ‘better to live in a desert’ 21:19. It may be lonely in the desert, but at least there's no dripping to drive you crazy.

So today I wish you a drip-free day - and if you catch yourself sniping, give your tongue a strong twist and stop the leak.

Image Sources:
Leaky Ceiling - DIY-repairs ... Desert - Salvation Army